I AM BECOMING

I AM BECOMING
the woman I’ve wanted,
grey at the temples,
soft body, delighted,
cracked up by life
with a laugh that’s
known bitter
but, past it, got better,
knows she’s a survivor¬
that whatever comes,
she can outlast it.
I am becoming a deep
weathered basket.

I am becoming the woman
I’ve longed for,
the motherly lover
with arms strong and tender,
the growing up daughter
who blushes surprises.
I am becoming full moons
and sunrises.
I find her becoming,
this woman I’ve wanted,
who knows she’ll encompass,
who knows she’s sufficient,
knows where she’s going
and travels with passion.
Who remembers she’s precious,
but knows she’s not scarce¬
who knows she is plenty.

~Jayne Relaford Brown

Dinner Party

http://www.brooklynmuseum.org/eascfa/dinner_party/home.php

Check this out - WOW - what a great tribute to women!

A sex divided

What is your reaction when you hear that a friend is pregnant or someone you know had a baby?

The reactions are usually divided up between 2 sides:

1) The ohhh & ahhhh's, I'm so happy for you, hugs and kisses all around, then preceded by a fast dash to the nearest store that has baby items where you will purchase some teeny tiny fluffy (over-priced) item that the baby will never wear or use and

2) The rolling of your eyes, the shaking of your head, the over all disgust feeling, the memories of sleepless nights and dirty diapers, not being able to recall the last time you watched a movie that wasn't animated, the feeling of total exhaustion, not to mentions what happens to your body.

So, why is the subject so divided? Is it a selfish response? Does it have something to do with the specific individual? Just some food for thought.......

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." Margaret Mead

Are you a FEMINIST?

By definition FEMINISM is:
1.Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.

2.The movement organized around this belief.
So, a FEMINIST is considered a person whose beliefs and behavior are based on feminism. Seems simple and straightforward right? WRONG! The feminist movement was and is not simple. Following the civil rights movement - the women came storming in - bra-less and all. What started out as a movement demanding equal rights among the sexes continues to be just that.
The feminist movement has effected change in Western society, including women's suffrage; greater access to education; more nearly equitable pay with men; the right to initiate divorce proceedings and "no fault" divorce; and the right of women to make individual decisions regarding pregnancy (including access to contraceptives and abortion); as well as the right to own property.
As a movement these women produced the deepest transformation in American society and enlisted the largest number of participants. Social changes have not only included the right to vote, greater equality in the workforce, as well as reproductive rights but also the recognition of injustices and the ways in which both men and women can work to change them. In the years of the movement, women accomplished many of the goals they set out to do. They won protection from employment discrimination, inclusion in affirmative action, abortion law reform, greater representation in media, equal access to school athletics, congressional passage of an equal rights movement and so much more. Demographic changes started sweeping industrial society's; birth rates declined, life expectancy increased, and women were entering the paid labor force in massive amounts and new public policies emerged fitted to changing family forms and individual life cycles.
Feminism isn’t about women being more like men, or the two becoming one. Feminism recognizes that men and women are capable of different things, not based on gender, but on individuality. It’s about being liberated and making genuine choices. The focus on feminism needs to be on the freedom of choice, and not on the choices that any one individual makes.

Am I a FEMINIST? Yes I am.


Womens Timeline - http://www.infoplease.com/spot/womenstimeline1.html

Online Feminist community - http://www.feminist.com/

National Womens History Project - http://www.nwhp.org/
History of the Movement - http://www.legacy98.org/

Is motherhood really an "institution"?

Throughout our course readings we have read substantive articles of why motherhood is considered a social institution. While I agree with the reasons why motherhood is compared or even considered a social institution - I can't help but think (as a mother) do I want out of this institution? Would I change the role of motherhood if given a chance? Would I let go of those tightly held reins that make me primarily responsible for the moral behavior, education and overall well-being of MY children? Do I really want to hand over what are the most important things in my life to a group of inexperienced, socially-driven men? I agree that a woman's identity and sense of importance should not come solely from their role as mothers. I agree that as mothers we often find ourselves battling with self-hatred, resentment and guilt. It might be an unfair situation when you look at the roles of motherhood versus fatherhood. Do women and mothers have a right to be angry about the position that a patriarchal society has put us in? Yes we have the right to be angry - it is a righteous anger. We do and should demand the respect we deserve for our roles as life givers and nurturers. So, to answer my previous questions - I do NOT consider myself unwillingly bound in an institution - I consider myself a patient in the institution of motherhood. I have gone through many stages in my life - some worse than others but motherhood is by far the best stage yet! I am so flattered to have been given the chance to be a mother - something that some women are not given. Of course motherhood has challenges - that is what I like - rising to the challenge. Looking into my children's innocent eyes I have an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. If being a mother is considered to be one of the most important jobs in the world - why wouldn't one want to embrace that title? Despite the sleepless nights, vomit in your mouth, stained clothes and constantly dirty floor - being a mother is the BEST job I have ever taken - oh yeah - they pay is not that great but the perks are AMAZING!

We are WOMEN hear us BLOG

More recently I have found that blogging is very therapeutic! Once the pressure dies down from the class (the grade) I think I will enjoy blogging even more. I enjoy reading other mom-blogs so who knows maybe someone will enjoy reading mine. I think that Moms in Cyberspace have redefined how the internet is used. Women have taken the internet ball and ran with it! On any given moment you can search the internet for a great appetizer recipe, a good girl-cry book, how to stop a run in panty-hose, what grocery stores have the best coupons, how to get wax out of a lace table cloth and what front loading washing machines have the best ratings - and POOF a zillion results will pop up - posted (mostly) by women - who had to ask, who guessed or tried the question/thing out and let everyone else know - in order to save other peoples time, energy and money! Why do we trust these cyber-women? Why you ask.......because they are us! We recently read that mommy bloggers are the “commodity audience for advertisers” this is true in so many ways. Because women do make the majority of the decisions regarding household purchases – it makes total sense that they/we are preyed on by advertising vultures.
According to Businessweek "Women earn less money than their counterparts -- 78 cents for every dollar a man gets. But they make more than 80% of buying decisions in all homes. And women shop differently from the way men do: Females research more extensively and are less likely to be influenced by ads." "Today's woman is the chief purchasing agent of the family and marketers have to recognize that," says Michael Silverstein, principal at Boston Consulting Group and author of Trading Up: The New American Luxury.

Fairy God-Mothers

To expand on a subject that was discussed in class "other-mothering". For the record I just want to say that I do not think that other-mothering just effects racial ethnic groups as we previously read about. Now, with many women in the work force (including white women) children of all races are subject to other mothering - whether by a relative or daycare - the reality is that most child care workers spend more time with our children than we do.
When I first heard the expression "other-mothering" I was a little insulted; as if the phrase was insinuating in some way that I do not spend enough time with my children. As I thought about this antagonistic phrase - I came to the reazilation that other-mothering is no so bad after after all.
My daughter, has been with her god-mother (Mona) since she was three weeks old - in essence this IS her other mother. From doctor appointments to birthday parties - Mona is there. Mona could not love my children more even if they were her own. I do not know how my family would survive without Mona - she truly is a self-less individual. Mona's house is the one place that I know - no matter what happens - my children will be taken care of. Just as the other mothers from the readings played an important role - they continue to do so in this day and age. I am so lucky to have Mona - our families fairy god-mother!